Good News within Bad News

Bev writes: So we have news...Finally...The following are Ken's words. The first paragraph he was writing to a friend just before the doc came in. The rest tells the news.

Ken Writes:
Hi! Sometimes I am doing okay (with the drugs they are giving me) and sometimes I am having some problems. The other day the pain meds made me sick as hell for all day. In addition, I have a tube coming out of each lung cavity for drainage. That’s usually were the actual pain comes from. When I try to breath deep, I can actually feel the liquid still in my chest, very creepy. When I went home on Tuesday, they said they might have to try for a different biopsy depending upon results. Sure enough, he called me on Wednesday and said the result was non informative, so he scheduled me again for Thursday to go after a bigger biopsy, but in a harder location. A lymph node is supposed to be the size of a pea, I hear, and the one they wanted a biopsy from they estimated at 2 inches. They said they got a good biopsy, but I must not have heard the part where I would wind up with the two tubes in my chest. Go figure!


The doctor just walked in with the results I was waiting for. I have Bcell non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. He said it is common as cancer can be, but is treatable. They should be able to treat it with chemo and radiation therapy. They are going to try to remove one tube tonight or in the morning. It’s an inch wide and he said they just pull it out. Who would have known. I might have to have drainage for the other side until the therapy starts working. The good news is now we know what I am dealing with, so we are both happy.



The hardest thing for me has been the whole mental aspect. You come into the hospital thinking you might have pneumonia, then you leave having cancer. When someone looks you in the eye and says what do you want to have happen if your heart stops, you know this is real, even though it seemed so unreal. And when they say you have cancer, and you grow up always hearing about it and you know the possible results, all I could do was to hear it but as if I wasn’t really there. I thought at first I only had five years and thought shit, what can I do by 57. I thought what about my kids, will they have this, on and on. Finally reality sets in and you start learning about it and survival rates, on and on. Now that I know what it is, the fight is really just beginning. But at least I know who my opponent is now, and can plan for battle. I am instantly feeling uplifted, and while cancer, at least I have a chance. My mind has gone from depression at some points to hope, fear and anxiousness to acceptance. I honestly believe I have started a new chapter in my life, and now I just must get well from this surgery to go home and rest up for the battle ahead. I hope to be out of here maybe in another day or two. I would enjoy visitors, but I just can’t talk or breathe very well and conversation is sometimes challenging. I had never stayed in a hospital so its not that I hated them, I was just scared. I had always told Bev I didn’t want to go to stay in a hospital because I had a dream I would not leave. My dream is actually coming true, but in a different way. I am not leaving as the same person I came in as, but as a changed human being with a totally different outlook and determination. Now in six months, maybe I will be better than before. At least I probably will have spent 6 million dollars to get better at the rate they are charging! LOL! thanks for letting me share, especially since I just found out. Off to talk with the rest of the kids. Please stay in touch!


Bev again. So while the news that Ken has cancer is so sad, we are celebrating that it is a very common and treatable version. So praise God and thank HIM for that. Our journey has begun. The doc estimates that it will take about 4 weeks of chemo and radiation for the leaking to stop. So Ken may come home with a tube still in his chest, and he will have to be drained a few times a week on his other side. That is the biggest challenge we are facing first. I expect Ken to be here the rest of the week. We'll know more after we talk to an oncologist and get this started. We'll keep you posted. Keep those prayers and jokes coming. It was great for Ken to have a distraction today and catch up on his email.

Thanks again for all your support. Bev and Ken.