No changes yet

I cannot believe this has been almost a week. Ken is still struggling. They keep running tests on him every morning, but he isn't strong enough yet to come off the ventilator. I hate it. I know it is keeping him alive, but he isn't very happy. They have lowered his sedation meds so that he is awake during most of the test. We keep telling him to breathe slow and deep, but he has a hard time and his levels aren't high enough yet. At least they are giving him a little more sedation meds this afternoon, so he is sleeping. He has been vomiting (with the tube in, not pretty) since Sunday night. So they have stopped his tube feedings and are in fact pumping his stomach. He says he isn't hungry, but I don't see how he can be getting any strength if they aren't feeding him. I used to know more about what the nurses are doing and what is really going on, but this ICU Respirator stuff has me baffled. I'm sure they know what they are doing, but with our track record in hospitals, I'm a little nervous. I have been staying here most of the time now so that I can pay attention to what is happening. Plus, when he wakes up, he sometimes motions to me. I have to hardest time trying to figure out what he wants. We tried to let him write me a note today. He wrote warte. Do you know what that is? I should have been able to figure it out, but my scramble skills aren't there. He had written water. Course he can't have any water, so pour guy. Yesterday, it took me forever to figure out that he wanted the nurse. He kept pointing, and I knew he wanted me to get something. Thank God I finally figured it out. I had been telling him that I couldn't take out his tube. He wanted me to. So I guess he thought if I couldn't do it, the nurse could. Pretty smart. He is in there. He knows some of what is happening and I think he might remember some of this, now that he is more awake. But I hope it isn't to long till they can get him to breathing on his own. I miss him talking to me.
So not much else to report. The infectious doc was just in. He said he changed his antibiotics 2 days ago and they seem to be working better. He fever has been down for 24 hours. And he said the best fight against this will be his white blood cells. He needs strong ones to attach the fungus. He now has plenty of white blood cells, so I hope they are getting to work.
My brother from North Carolina is coming to see me tonight with my cousin from Boulder. I am looking forward to seeing them. I decided at noon today that I hate eating alone. It is lonely down in the busy lunchroom. I have to wear a mask in Ken's room, so I can't eat in here. That's been helping my diet, or lack there of.
Stephanie is coming to see me tomorrow, to go Christmas shopping. I hope we get to go. It will depend on what tomorrow morning's test looks like and if they pull the tube tomorrow. I want to be with him after they pull the tube to make sure it all goes ok. If anyone else wants to come and sit with him on Wed afternoon so I can go with Steph, that would be great. Jeff, are you well yet? You have to be healthy to come in the ICU. It's kinda boring in here with Ken sleeping so much. I've been getting my Christmas wrapping done though. This is a huge room.
Hope all is well with everyone and hope your Christmas stress is under control. Hug someone you love today. I'm sending hugs your way. I have an over abundance of them now since I can't hug Ken. I miss everybody. Have a happy day. Bev