Analysis

Monday is drawing to a close, and all day my word of the day seemed to be analysis. One of the reasons I love to work at CSU is you get to analyze different opportunities, situations, areas of concern and then do something about them to make the situation better. My analysis of my personal situation is that I have changed, and to some extent can control how I change, yet in some aspects I can't control at all. Such is life.

Sunday started my first round of the new chemo regimen. Now diagnosed correctly, this is a harder form of chemo to fight a more aggressive cancer than I originally thought I had. This will go only 1 day every 21 days. Days 2-6 they say I will feel okay but maybe nauseous. And sure enough today I have felt that way several times. Days 7-14 will be the toughest days as that will be when my white cell counts are at the lowest and I will be more susceptible to infections. This will compond each cycle so they say I will get the most tired during this segment. Days 15-21 will be the best where I should feel the most normal. Then the cycle will start all over again. At least 6 cycles, possibly 8. The nice thing is that after every 2 cycles they will do a PT scan and be able to track progress of the chemo treatments.

Tuesday hopefully I will meet with a ENT doc who will examine my voice. Since my leakage is not my main problem now, and I am on the correct chemo regimen, my voice is now getting attention. Some concern has been expressed about one of my vocal chords being paralyzed. But we won't know for sure until the examination.

Bev and I have decided to have my future chemo treatments here in Denver instead of Fort Collins. This way we will be around all the doc's who have fixed me in case we have any further questions. Part of analyzing this whole life changing experience is when it all hits and you have no idea of what to do, you just have to follow your gut and pray. Finally prayers were answered when we found the doctors here at U of C Medical Center. In one week, I have stopped leaking and I am feeling better. I am so thankful of that. But the best part of analyzing this past month and a half is that the support you have shown me has changed me forever. Those of you who have visited, signed cards, sent things, volunteered to clean, you have touched my heart in a way that I never knew existed. I would not say I came from a close knit family growing up, but now even my siblings and I are talking again. It is a wonderful feeling to know someone cares for you, much less as many people that have shown me support. My wish is that I will somehow be able to pay forward the kindness you have shared. This past Easter Sunday, Bev and I were able to visit the small chapel here in the hospital. A very small gathering, no large choirs or formal wear. Just people celebrating the holiest day in the Christian faith. I was brought to tears just in the fact I was able to be there. I am a cancer survivor. Soon I might lose my hair. After seeing so many others who have gone through this before me, I almost feel I want to join them and show a chrome dome. I have physically changed as at one point I lost 22 pounds. Each day my weight changes so that alone has become a game to see where I will be. And I can tell you that I have had so much tape stuck on and ripped off that I don't have hair where I used to. My analysis of that: buy stock in medical tape. I hope you have a great day!