Monday, Dec. 21st

I can't believe we are doing this. Ken is having such a hard time. He is still sedated, still on the respirator. His stats look ok, his blood pressure is a little low, so he is on meds for that, mild doses. But, there is a nation wide shortage of proprovol, the drug that they were originally using to keep Ken asleep last week. It worked great, but now the hospital is out of it. I guess the country is out of it. Ben, my pharmacist nephew, can you get us some. Just kidding. Something about drugs going across state lines might get us in trouble there. But since they don't have that drug, they have him on 3 drugs, 1 is for sedation and the other two are for pain. These three drugs are supposed to keep him sedated. But I guess this evening while I was out to dinner, Ken just suddenly woke up. He started fighting the restraints and the breathing tubes. He was quite violent and it took the nurses almost an hour to get him calmed down and back to a comfortable sleep. They upped his meds. I saw the doc in the hall before I went to dinner and the doc said I was right, it took alot to keep Ken asleep. I had told him before they put him on the respirator that my concern was the lack of that drug proprovol. He assured me that they would be able to control his sedation. Well, now they have him on a higher dose, but they say they can't go much higher. So if he wakes up again, they may put him on a drug to paralyze him, temporarily. The drug will just keep Ken from fighting the respirator if he does wake up. When he fights the respirator and tries to breathe on his own, that definitely isn't good for his lungs. This all scares me. So 1 nurse said they might only leave him on the paralyzed drug for a few days. A more experienced nurse said they would probably only do it for a few hours so they could mess with the sleep drugs to get the right combination to make Ken stay asleep. They can monitor how deep he is sleeping by attaching a little electrode to his wrist. They would send small shocks thru the electrode and measure how much response Ken would have in his reflexes. Isn't that crazy? All this is so crazy. And scary. I hope and pray they know what they are doing. Ken seems peaceful now. I was going to go to the hotel tonight, but in light of Ken's possible waking up, I want to be here. I can't imagine him waking up and being with strangers. By the way, I am going to believe the more experienced nurse that said they would probably only have Ken on paralyzed drugs for a few hours. I know she said probably, but we can hope. And pray. Thank you for praying with me. This is so scary. But we are holding onto the fact that his stats are stable and he is resting for now. He must rest and heal. Heal and rest. Me too. I'm going to make my bed and stay here again tonight. I'll go to the hotel tomorrow night.
Sleep tight.