I miss Ken...

I am currently in Greensboro, North Carolina with my brother, Gale and my sister-in-law, Toby. It is early morning, all is quiet and I miss Ken. I woke up and he wasn't there with me. I can't go out to the couch and sit with him till he wakes up and get him to come to bed with me. I can't call him this time of night. I hope he is sleeping well.
Yesterday, Ken went to Denver for his first round of pre-transplant tests. They did an echo cardiogram, a pulmonary function test, a CT scan of his sinus, a chest X-ray to check his pneumonia, BMT Blood labs, an EKG and urine test. He met with the BMT psychologist, Luis Richter and he met again with Vicki Snider, our BMT coordinator. They talked more about what his schedule will be and when we will need to stay in Denver. I wish I'd been there for the meeting with Vicki. But Ken is going to send me the schedule and we are going to a 2 hour class either this Tues or next, so I will catch up on things then. We go to Denver next Wed for Ken's bone marrow biopsy. He needs to have a driver for that test, so I'll take him down. Then we wait for the results and the final schedule.
I hope Ken's pneumonia is gone. He sounds so much better, no coughing. So we expect good results. He feels better too. I think he is ready to do this. I am extremely scared for him, but glad we are "going for the cure" as the doc said. Ken has just been amazing thru all this. When we think back about all that he has gone thru, it doesn't seem fair that he has to go thru more. But it proves that he is strong and able to handle whatever is thrown his way. He will get thru this too. Let's just make a quick list... He has gone thru... the lung leakage, he couldn't breathe for months, that was the worst. His first ever hospital visit of 2 days, then back in 2 days for a 12 day stay. His vocal cord being paralyzed. The blood clot. The 11 rounds of Rituxin in 3 1/2 weeks. All the visits to the ER for a thorosentisis, lung drain. The insertion of a drain in his side so we could drain him at home. The surgery in Denver to fix his lung leak with another 12 day stay. His new diagnosis and the start of the new RCHOP chemo. The HICCUPS. The nausea. Low blood counts and the depression that came with it. All those trips to Denver. The news of another spot and more chemo. The swine flu. Pneumonia. More hiccups. Worrying about his mom and her broken hip, her shingles, her night spent on the floor when she fell and didn't call us. And still he works. Thru all of it, he was in the office when possible and works from home now. Thru all of it, he has kept his sense of humor, his great outlook and his connection with our family and our friends. Sure, he has been sad and sometimes depressed. But not for long, a day or maybe a weekend. Then he is back, ready for the next step. So that is all this Bone Marrow Transplant is. It is another step. Another of a long list of things he will endure and conquer. I love him. He is so strong. I could not have been that strong. He is amazing.
Enough of that. I am supposed to be on vacation. He will be mad at me knowing I was thinking about this. Like I'm not going to think about it. Ha. But I am having a great time. My great-niece, Bella Claire is a doll. She is just 8 weeks old, 8 lbs, 7 1/2 oz. She is a very calm baby and I love holding her. Nothing like holding a sleepy baby. She is starting to smile. Here is a link to Ben and Mary's blog about Bella. There is a video Mary just put up of Bella. It is adorable, especially the last few seconds. LOL Check it out if you have time. http://www.thebrownfamilyof3.blogspot.com/
I enjoyed the day with Toby yesterday. We went shopping, went out to lunch, had the kids over for dinner and enjoyed the day. Today, we are headed to the beach and the oyster festival. Of course, it is rainy and cold here, but I don't care. I am going to get to see the ocean. I miss seeing the waves. Can't wait. I might even get brave enough to try an oyster. Though after watching survivor last night and seeing all the slug they were eating, I might loose me nerve. Ken is the strong one. I might just have to stick to shrimp. We'll see. Love you all. Especially you, Ken. I miss you and ISBLU. Bev (That's I'll Still Be Loving You, our song, for those that were wondering.)