Different now

It feels so different this time around. I have been sitting here now for a couple of hours getting chemo and the whole experience has seemed different than any previous time. First, because this is a busy week for Bev at work, I drove myself to Denver alone. The clinic where I get my blood draw was very busy. Usually you can walk right up to the counter to check in, or maybe wait behind one person, but today there were six or seven in front of me, so it took a while. After waiting, a great nurse named Audrey pulled my blood and sent me on my way. I checked in at the infusion center then had to wait a little more than an hour past my appointment time to be called in. So instead of getting started around 10:15 like I thought, I was actually hooked up and ready to roll by noon. Different also was the fact we had already taken out my pic line so they have to poke my arm instead for blood draws and chemo. Then I brought with me some bills and such to work on. One was for over $13500 that I was told I owed to PVH in Fort Collins. After calling my insurance company, they said most of this was a billing error. Very different indeed. Before I left, I heard our niece Mary had her water break, and that the doctor would probably induce contractions. A great day to have a baby!
My how your mind can change your outlook on things. Last week I was saddened when I first heard that I was going to have to continue treatment. Then I decided I have had enough. It is what it is, but I am not letting this rule me anymore. Hence, everything feels different this time around. A good friend of mine, Bob, told me Friday of his experience. He is about a year ahead of me in experience. Not with the same type of cancer, but cancer none the less. Whining is okay for a little bit, but then you have to get over it. Life goes on. Everything is different now, good or not so good, I plan on living life to the fullest. Thanks to Lisa, Carol Ann, Ken, Linda and others who gave me nice words of encouragement Friday. And especially my kids who told me to hang in there. Maybe the chemo will work this time, everything is different.
It's a great day for all the babies being born! It's a great day to be alive!