Smells

I think the nose and a sense of smell is an amazing thing. How many times do we smell something and it instantly takes us to a previous time where we have experienced that smell before. Honeysuckle makes me think of when I was young and mowed lawns in my neighborhood. One of the the yards had a huge honeysuckle bush, and I used to love to mow that yard because it always smelled so good. Lilac bushes do the same for me. Every time I smell Old Spice Cologne, I think of my dad splashing it on extra heavy before leaving for a meeting or going to church. I think I should have owned stock in Old Spice while he was alive! My grandmother had a favorite perfume, Prince Matchebelli, and I would always buy it for her for Christmas. I could pick my grandmother out of the crowd just by that smell. The smell of something cooking on the stove, or even better, fresh banana bread in the oven makes my taste buds water. Sometimes smells don't always smell so pleasant, such as when you know you are driving close to Greeley, but at least you know your almost there by the smell. When I was a teenager, I went with a best friend to see the group Brownsville Station singing "Smoking in the boys room" in Colorado Springs. We started the night drinking sloe gin fizzes but by the time the concert started we were just drinking sloe gin. Of course to this day I can not tell you how that night ended, with the exception that I got very sick on sloe gin. Amazingly, about the same time frame 7-11's in town used to sell a Slurpee that smelled just like sloe gin to me. Being a coca-cola addict, I always was stopping at 7-11's to buy a coke but I'll tell you that I would smell that Slurpee even without getting close to the machine and my stomach would start getting upset thinking about sloe gin again. Now that my chemo is coming to an end, I have noticed the smells that I associate with everything I've gone through. My doctor said my sense of smell might be heightened due to the drugs. I used to have a good nose for smell until I broke my nose in a car accident about 1988. After that smells were not as strong to me. But now, the doctor is right. Every time I drive to Denver to the Cancer Pavilion at University of Colorado Hospital, I start off having to use the restroom after the drive. The smell of the handsoap in the restroom signals to my mind I am back in the hospital. Going into the infusion center, I pickup the scent of all the different chemo drugs that are being dispensed, and my stomach starts getting queasy knowing what that smell means. Obviously visual triggers tell your mind where you are and can make your mind race, but to be able to close your eyes and just have the smell take control of your mind is just amazing to me. I met a woman from Strausburg on my last day of chemo. They were pulling my pic line out of my arm because I hopefully won't need it anymore. It was her first time ever in chemo. I could see and hear the fear she had for the unknown. She said she had lung cancer and she was scared. So scared she had gotten sick even before the chemo. It took my mind back to that time when I was starting and didn't know what was going to happen. It made me feel a little guilty that Bev and I were so happy laughing with the nurses and this lady was sitting next to me struggling with her future. It gave me a sense of pleasure however to be able to describe my experience to her, and let her know the best I could that she can make it through. It's tough but most of us are lucky enough to make it through, thank God. I hope that in the future I will get a chance to share again my story with those that are just starting. I don't know if after I stop taking all the drugs my sniffer will go back to not being so strong, but I do know I feel for all those that have been affected negatively by a smell in the past. My wish to you is that you find a smell that takes your mind to a peaceful, comfortable place or memory in your mind and that you keep that smell in your head to pull it out when you need it. Like the saying goes, life is short, stop and smell the roses! I wish you a pleasurable experience whatever "roses" you smell today and always! I plan on smelling as many roses as I see! Hope you do too!