We can't believe it is day +6 already. The days are flying by. We have actually been here in our little apartment for 2 weeks today. Ken is amazed that it has been 2 weeks. We have had a wild few days. Ken has been having a tough time, but he is way better today.
On day +2, Wed, Ken's throat was again sore, though his pain meds seemed to be helping. At least he could still eat. His sore throat is due to the chemo attacking his esophagus. He said it was about 10 times what a normal sore throat with strep feels like. We were both pretty depressed on Wed. We had made plans with my kids to have dinner with them Wed. night. But our daughter, Stephanie, caught a cold and was sick herself. And with Ken feeling so sick, we just layed around all night. I really missed the kids.
However, when he got up on Day +3, Thanksgiving Day, Ken was so miserable, I quickly snapped out of my depression. We were in the cancer center at 8 am. Ken could hardly talk. They decided to give Ken a fentanol patch to wear that would distribute pain meds in a more even and consistent way. We had a little trouble finding a pharmacy open, but we had the patch on at noon on Thurs. Unfortunately, the patch takes 6-12 hours to kick in, so he was miserable all day. He kept taking his other pain pills and was at least able to drink a few things.
On Friday, day +4, his pain was the same. The doctors and nurses told us that there wasn't anything they could do to fix the sores. They can only help manage the pain. The sores won't heal until his counts start going up. They said to keep doing his swish and spit with soda water and to keep taking his pain med on top of his patch if he needed it. Our daughter, Tessa, came to visit us Friday late afternoon. She was coming to help us for the weekend. Ken perked up when she got here and he felt a little better. But by 5:00, he was running a fever over 101. So we called the doctor and he sent a home health nurse out to visit us. She started an antibiotic drip and taught Tessa and I how to administer the drip as well. We are now doing the drip at home 3 times a day, at 6 am, 2 pm and 10 pm. We will do this for a few days, till his fever stops and his blood cultures come back. It is weird to hook him up the IV pole at home. We were up late Friday night till midnight. Then Ken's fever spiked again at 2 am, so Ken and I were up from 2-4, calling the doctor again. We gave him Tylenol and after an hour, his fever finally went down. We are to call the doc any time his fever is over 100.5, day or night. We aren't suppose to give him Tylenol unless the doctor tells us too. They don't want to mask the fever and not know when an infection may be setting in. So we have to wait for the fever and then treat it. Hopefully, the antibiotics will help soon.
On Sat, day +5, I was up at 5:00, getting my shower and starting the day. I needed to hook Ken to the antibiotic at 6, so it was a short night. We went to the doc at 8:00 am again. Tessa went with us to see what life in the cancer center is like. Of course it was a holiday weekend, so it was pretty quiet. Ken was getting worse. He could hardly open his mouth to eat. He can't move his tongue around his mouth very well. Everything is hard to eat. So he is drinking with a straw and trying to eat Popsicles, banana flavor of course. Though his taste buds are all wacky, so the banana isn't very enjoyable. The doctor advised us to put on a second patch, so now Ken is wearing 2 patches and has twice the fentanol releasing. He is still taking his oral pain killer as well. As soon as we got home at noon, Ken's fever spiked again. I called the doc, gave him Tylenol and left him in Tessa's capable care. I went to Fort Collins to visit the house, get the mail, visit Ken's mom and run some errands. It was sad to be home without Ken. I was blessed with an angel when I walked in the door. I was expecting to need to put back all the furniture after our carpets were cleaned. But instead, my friend Terry had come over and put everything back. Bless her heart and hard work. I was able to spend my time looking for some stuff that Ken and wanted in Denver. Thank you Terry and Alan too. I really appreciate the help. Tessa took good care of Ken. She did his 2:00 antibiotic drip, connected his IV line. They watched a football game and talked most of the afternoon. By the time I got home, Ken was feeling much better. The second patch has kicked in. He actually ate 2 bowls of ice cream Saturday night.
Sunday, Day +6, was a completely different day. Ken didn't have any fevers during the night, so we both got some much needed sleep, even though we had been up till about 1:00 talking to Tessa the night before. Ken just felt so much better, he wanted to keep talking to her. Ken ate oatmeal for breakfast, about half of it. We went to the doctor and found out his counts that had been slipping every day, have finally hit rock bottom. They sent us to the hospital for some platelets. Amazingly, it only took a few minutes to drip the platelets, so it was a quick visit to the 4th floor. We were released by noon. Ken wanted to go somewhere, so we put him in a mask and walked around Target for a few minutes. We did a little bit of Christmas shopping and enjoyed the time there. I know, I am married to a man that likes to shop. Weird, but he just likes to look around. When we got back to the apartment, the turkey breast I was cooking in the crock pot smelled wonderful. I made some stuffing, mashed potatoes and corn. Ken was hungry and ate a little bit of everything. It is so good to see him eat again. He even ate pumpkin pie and then pears for dessert. His appetite is back, though it still hurts to swallow. At least I think we finally have the pain level under control.
Day +7 will be a long day. It is a 6 hour doctor day. Don't know what they will be doing for 6 hours. But they will be sending Ken for another blood transfusion afterwards. The blood takes about 4 hours in the hospital.
Let me catch you up on the baby calendar, if you are interested. It has been such a joy to turn the page every day.
Nov. 24th, 31 days 'till I see my Grandpa. Norah wrapped in her bath towel with a cute smile. It says, 'There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them' - Sylvia Plath
Nov. 25th, 30 days 'till I see my Grandpa. Norah in her Mommy and I love to shop shirt. She is sitting up in the corner of the couch. She is so cute and looks so much like Grandpa in this picture. 'In time of trouble...He shall set me upon a rock.
Psalms 27:5
Nov. 26th, 29 days 'till I see my Grandpa. Thanksgiving day. Young close up of Norah. She is so little. 'Never...Never...Never...Never Give Up!' - Winston Churchill.
Nov. 27th, 28 days 'till I see me Grandpa. Norah sitting in her chair that attaches to the counter. Her arms are in the air and she is looking right at the camera. 'Your courage is this big' - Norah Kaufman.
Nov. 28th, 27 days 'till I see my Grandpa. Norah a few months old in a very big pink snow suit. 'Give yourself room to grow'
Nov. 29th, 26 days 'till I see my Grandpa. Norah, curled up on her tummy, sleeping like a baby. It says, 'Do whatever makes you comfortable.'
Can't wait till tomorrow to see what the pictures is. Tomorrow is Norah's first birthday. Wow, she is a year already. Everybody say, Happy Birthday Little Norah. You have been a small and precious miracle that has helped Ken and me in abundant ways this year. Thinking of Norah and skypeing with her has been an amazing inspiration for Ken. Have a great Birthday Norah. We miss you and love you to the moon and back. Can't wait to see you again.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Day +1 - The pain begins
First I'll say that I posted a Day 0 just a few minutes ago. I don't want you to miss that post since it is full of pictures. Make sure you scroll down far enough to read it as well, or click on Day 0 in the blog archives.
Day +1 wasn't as fun for Ken as day 0. He woke up with a very sore throat. They have been telling him all along that his mouth and throat could get sores. They had us buy a baby soft toothbrush to use. They have him swishing and spitting with soda water 4 times a day. This is to prevent mouth sores. But his throat started it all. We didn't go to the clinic till 2:00, so he suffered all morning with his throat. He ate some oatmeal for breakfast, but didn't eat much lunch.
When we got to the clinic, they gave him another swish and swallow gel stuff. It smelled like cinnamon and he said it burned like it as well, but it did soothe his throat a little. The doc gave him a pain pill as well. We filled the prescription on the way home and he took it as soon as we got here. The pain pill helped a bunch. Ken was able to eat dinner and felt much better. More energy in the evening and he slept well. Guess we will start the soft food regiment, mashed potatoes, applesauce, jello, soup. His favorites. Good thing spaghetti is soft. I'm expecting mouth sores to be Ken's biggest problem. The doc and nurses say it will get worse before it gets better since he really doesn't have an immune system to fix it. So they said he will hurt until his counts pick up in a few weeks. Poor guy. I say bring on the pain pills. He may get a pain patch as well that distributes pain meds slowly and consistently.
We'll see how he does today. Day +2. He is still sleeping this morning, so that is a good sign. No high fevers yet, just a slight one yesterday. We don't go in till 12:30 today, so hope he can rest this morning. The rest of the week, we have to be there at 8:00. So this is his last day this week to sleep in.
In case this is the last chance you get to read this before Thanksgiving, we hope you all have a happy time with family and friends. Be sure to tell everyone how thankful you are for them. We couldn't be getting thru this without all your support. We are so thankful for all of you as well. God Bless You and Your Loved Ones. God Bless Ken too.
Day +1 wasn't as fun for Ken as day 0. He woke up with a very sore throat. They have been telling him all along that his mouth and throat could get sores. They had us buy a baby soft toothbrush to use. They have him swishing and spitting with soda water 4 times a day. This is to prevent mouth sores. But his throat started it all. We didn't go to the clinic till 2:00, so he suffered all morning with his throat. He ate some oatmeal for breakfast, but didn't eat much lunch.
When we got to the clinic, they gave him another swish and swallow gel stuff. It smelled like cinnamon and he said it burned like it as well, but it did soothe his throat a little. The doc gave him a pain pill as well. We filled the prescription on the way home and he took it as soon as we got here. The pain pill helped a bunch. Ken was able to eat dinner and felt much better. More energy in the evening and he slept well. Guess we will start the soft food regiment, mashed potatoes, applesauce, jello, soup. His favorites. Good thing spaghetti is soft. I'm expecting mouth sores to be Ken's biggest problem. The doc and nurses say it will get worse before it gets better since he really doesn't have an immune system to fix it. So they said he will hurt until his counts pick up in a few weeks. Poor guy. I say bring on the pain pills. He may get a pain patch as well that distributes pain meds slowly and consistently.
We'll see how he does today. Day +2. He is still sleeping this morning, so that is a good sign. No high fevers yet, just a slight one yesterday. We don't go in till 12:30 today, so hope he can rest this morning. The rest of the week, we have to be there at 8:00. So this is his last day this week to sleep in.
In case this is the last chance you get to read this before Thanksgiving, we hope you all have a happy time with family and friends. Be sure to tell everyone how thankful you are for them. We couldn't be getting thru this without all your support. We are so thankful for all of you as well. God Bless You and Your Loved Ones. God Bless Ken too.
Day 0 - Ken gets stem cells
Here is a pictorial of Ken's stem cell collection. If you want to see a picture bigger, remember that you can click on the picture to make it larger.
This is Callee, the nurse that is going to give Ken his cells. The day started with Ken getting fluids for 2 hours in a drip. They gave him Tylenol, benedryl, and some other pre-drugs to help with the stem cell push. Mostly to help Ken relax.
This is the freezer that the cells are transported to the center in. The tub on the cart is the outside and the metal round freezer on the left sits inside of the big tub during transport. Ken's cells are inside the round freezer on the left.
This is the 'hot dog' cooker. This is where they thaw out the cells before giving them to Ken. They soak them in water to thaw.
This is where Christie is taking the cells out of the freezer. If you look closely, you can see the steam coming off the bottom. Notice her thick gloves. It's like handling dry ice.
This is Ken and his cells. You can really see the steam in this picture.
Ken's bag is cooking. Ken was a good giver of stem cells. Since he gave up his 15 million cells in just one draw a couple of weeks ago, he only has 1 bag to get now. The nurses said they had a guy this week that got 5 bags a day for 2 days. He wasn't a star giver like Ken.
Ken is ready. They have hooked up one of his 3 lines to a syringe. He is getting more instructions. They are thorough at telling us what is going to happen.
Here is comes. You can just see the blood with the stem cells starting down the tube to Ken. The nurse pushes it all in slowly. Takes only about 15 minutes. The candy on the pillow is there for Ken. He is sucking on another as she pushes. They say that the back of your throat gets a tickle during the push and sucking on candy helps eliminate the tickle. Ken felt it, but it wasn't bad with the candy. He likes butterscotch.
More pushing, slow but sure. The nurse talks to Ken about his family. She makes sure he is calm and at ease.
We are almost done. After this, she hooked up some saline into the bag to mix and get the last drops of cells out of the bag and into Ken. Interesting Transplant Process.
And now Ken sleeps. After the push, they give Ken another 2 hours of fluid drip. The fluids that they freeze the stem cells with aren't good for Ken's kidneys, so they give him lots of fluid to flush the kidneys. They give him lasix as well to help clear him out.
Ken feels great at this point. We are done at around 2:30 and are released. but I didn't tell you the funniest part of the day yet. Do I smell Cream Corn? During the push of the stem cells, the nurses warned me that I might smell garlic or cream corn. It is offensive to some, but Ken will not smell it. Only those around him. Boy was she right. He is stinky. Good thing I like cream corn. It was so strong, even our counselor mentioned it when she came into our room an hour after his push. I had to drive around with my window down when I was taking him home. We stopped in a Hallmark store on the way home. Ken was looking at Thanksgiving day cards. This poor unsuspecting lady came up beside him to look as well. I was down the isle and watched her. She coughed, sniffed, then coughed again. Then she moved away quickly. Poor Ken, he has no idea it is so strong. We stopped at another store to buy a candle for our hotel room. They said the smell could last as long as 48 hours. The smell comes from the cryogenics they use to freeze his cells. Luckily, Ken only smelled till the next morning. (I slept on our little couch). I feel sorry for the family of the guy that got 10 bags. Wow. The nurse told me the next day that some people put Vick's under their noses to mask the smell. Now she tells me.
All in all, it was a good birthday for Ken. He still felt great and was happy to be getting on with it. Love you all. Happy Birthday Ken. I love you most.
This is Callee, the nurse that is going to give Ken his cells. The day started with Ken getting fluids for 2 hours in a drip. They gave him Tylenol, benedryl, and some other pre-drugs to help with the stem cell push. Mostly to help Ken relax.
This is the freezer that the cells are transported to the center in. The tub on the cart is the outside and the metal round freezer on the left sits inside of the big tub during transport. Ken's cells are inside the round freezer on the left.
This is the 'hot dog' cooker. This is where they thaw out the cells before giving them to Ken. They soak them in water to thaw.
This is where Christie is taking the cells out of the freezer. If you look closely, you can see the steam coming off the bottom. Notice her thick gloves. It's like handling dry ice.
This is Ken and his cells. You can really see the steam in this picture.
Ken's bag is cooking. Ken was a good giver of stem cells. Since he gave up his 15 million cells in just one draw a couple of weeks ago, he only has 1 bag to get now. The nurses said they had a guy this week that got 5 bags a day for 2 days. He wasn't a star giver like Ken.
Ken is ready. They have hooked up one of his 3 lines to a syringe. He is getting more instructions. They are thorough at telling us what is going to happen.
Here is comes. You can just see the blood with the stem cells starting down the tube to Ken. The nurse pushes it all in slowly. Takes only about 15 minutes. The candy on the pillow is there for Ken. He is sucking on another as she pushes. They say that the back of your throat gets a tickle during the push and sucking on candy helps eliminate the tickle. Ken felt it, but it wasn't bad with the candy. He likes butterscotch.
More pushing, slow but sure. The nurse talks to Ken about his family. She makes sure he is calm and at ease.
We are almost done. After this, she hooked up some saline into the bag to mix and get the last drops of cells out of the bag and into Ken. Interesting Transplant Process.
And now Ken sleeps. After the push, they give Ken another 2 hours of fluid drip. The fluids that they freeze the stem cells with aren't good for Ken's kidneys, so they give him lots of fluid to flush the kidneys. They give him lasix as well to help clear him out.
Ken feels great at this point. We are done at around 2:30 and are released. but I didn't tell you the funniest part of the day yet. Do I smell Cream Corn? During the push of the stem cells, the nurses warned me that I might smell garlic or cream corn. It is offensive to some, but Ken will not smell it. Only those around him. Boy was she right. He is stinky. Good thing I like cream corn. It was so strong, even our counselor mentioned it when she came into our room an hour after his push. I had to drive around with my window down when I was taking him home. We stopped in a Hallmark store on the way home. Ken was looking at Thanksgiving day cards. This poor unsuspecting lady came up beside him to look as well. I was down the isle and watched her. She coughed, sniffed, then coughed again. Then she moved away quickly. Poor Ken, he has no idea it is so strong. We stopped at another store to buy a candle for our hotel room. They said the smell could last as long as 48 hours. The smell comes from the cryogenics they use to freeze his cells. Luckily, Ken only smelled till the next morning. (I slept on our little couch). I feel sorry for the family of the guy that got 10 bags. Wow. The nurse told me the next day that some people put Vick's under their noses to mask the smell. Now she tells me.
All in all, it was a good birthday for Ken. He still felt great and was happy to be getting on with it. Love you all. Happy Birthday Ken. I love you most.
Monday, November 23, 2009
It is early Monday morning. Ken is still sleeping. We don't have to be at the clinic till 8:30. It's a big day today. Ken's new birthday, they say. He gets his new(old) stem cells today. We are excited, but nervous as well. They say to bring the camera and take pictures today. Bummer, I broke the camera last weekend. I dropped it and now the screen doesn't work. We are taking it in today. Maybe they can fix it. We bought a cheap one for today. We'll see if it works.
Sunday was supposed to be our day off after the 6 days of chemo, but Ken's counts were to low and he ended up in the hospital for 5 hours getting 2 pints of blood. He really didn't want to have to get a blood transfusion, but the RMCC nurse, Christie, told us that it is very uncommon for a transplant patient not to get blood. In fact, Ken may have to get blood 5-10 times through this. So have you ever given blood to a blood bank? I do quite often. Mainly because it is easy for me. They come right to the Student Center where we work. Ken did it once with me a few years back, but he didn't like it. I get called from them all the time, especially since I have O- blood. Everyone can use my blood, but other O- patients can only get O- blood. Ken is O+. I tried to give blood specifically for Ken once. But did you know it is next to impossible to do that? You have to know the exact date they will need it, like if they have surgery or something. And it costs over $500. I guess it is too hard for them to keep track of it now.
While Ken was in the hospital giving blood, I tucked him in, kissed him goodbye and left for a few hours. It gave me a chance to go back to Fort Collins and check on things at home. It was great to be there, if only for 20 minutes. I picked up the mail and a few other things we wanted. Tessa is suppose to come to Denver next weekend to give me a break. I am hoping to get back then for more time. The carpets are getting cleaned this week, so I will be able to put the house back together again. I am hoping to decorate for Christmas a little, since the kids are coming in Dec. We'll see. Ken says I need to wait till we get home. But Norah will be there, I don't want to be decorating then.
Here's the update on Norah's calendar...
Nov. 21st, 34 days till I see my Grandpa. Picture of Norah with one of her first laughs, great pic. Says, 'Once you choose hope, any thing's possible.' - Christopher Reeve.
Nov. 22nd, 33 days till I see my Grandpa. Smiling Norah in a cute pink sweater. 'Say you are well, or all is well with you, and God shall hear your words and make them true.' Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Nov. 23rd, 32 days till I see me Grandpa. A tiny Norah laying in some one's hands with a big yawn. Cute. 'In three works I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on' Robert Frost
Ken just got up. So much for sleeping in today. He wants to blog, so bye for now. Love to everyone and hope you have a great holiday week. Bev
Sunday was supposed to be our day off after the 6 days of chemo, but Ken's counts were to low and he ended up in the hospital for 5 hours getting 2 pints of blood. He really didn't want to have to get a blood transfusion, but the RMCC nurse, Christie, told us that it is very uncommon for a transplant patient not to get blood. In fact, Ken may have to get blood 5-10 times through this. So have you ever given blood to a blood bank? I do quite often. Mainly because it is easy for me. They come right to the Student Center where we work. Ken did it once with me a few years back, but he didn't like it. I get called from them all the time, especially since I have O- blood. Everyone can use my blood, but other O- patients can only get O- blood. Ken is O+. I tried to give blood specifically for Ken once. But did you know it is next to impossible to do that? You have to know the exact date they will need it, like if they have surgery or something. And it costs over $500. I guess it is too hard for them to keep track of it now.
While Ken was in the hospital giving blood, I tucked him in, kissed him goodbye and left for a few hours. It gave me a chance to go back to Fort Collins and check on things at home. It was great to be there, if only for 20 minutes. I picked up the mail and a few other things we wanted. Tessa is suppose to come to Denver next weekend to give me a break. I am hoping to get back then for more time. The carpets are getting cleaned this week, so I will be able to put the house back together again. I am hoping to decorate for Christmas a little, since the kids are coming in Dec. We'll see. Ken says I need to wait till we get home. But Norah will be there, I don't want to be decorating then.
Here's the update on Norah's calendar...
Nov. 21st, 34 days till I see my Grandpa. Picture of Norah with one of her first laughs, great pic. Says, 'Once you choose hope, any thing's possible.' - Christopher Reeve.
Nov. 22nd, 33 days till I see my Grandpa. Smiling Norah in a cute pink sweater. 'Say you are well, or all is well with you, and God shall hear your words and make them true.' Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Nov. 23rd, 32 days till I see me Grandpa. A tiny Norah laying in some one's hands with a big yawn. Cute. 'In three works I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on' Robert Frost
Ken just got up. So much for sleeping in today. He wants to blog, so bye for now. Love to everyone and hope you have a great holiday week. Bev
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Day -2 Celebrations
Celebrations! They can be fun, exciting, a sense of achievement. They can also be quieter, a sense of accomplishment then moving on to a next step. Day minus 2 I experienced both.
Saturday, day minus 2. It all seems to be going so fast now. It took two months to prepare for this, getting ready mentally and physically. Preparing to move, planning who will take care of what, etc. Now it's day minus two. The last day of chemo. Today I received Melphalan (alkeran) the M chemo of BEAM. It's now done. BEAM is over. Let the celebration begin. Maybe quietly. It's a milestone if I never have to take chemo again, but my mind can't let that go just yet. It has become such a part of my life. All of the chemo I have been taking talk about side effects and Melphalan has all of the same side effects as the others I have mentioned previously. To me the scariest is the secondary malignancy, leukemia may occur. Yet I feel fine, like I could go to work. I do miss work. The doc says I really won't feel the effects of this chemo regimen BEAM until next week maybe starting around day+5 or so. Then I might not be feeling so well. But today is the end, hopefully. A cautious, quiet celebration.
Thankfully, a real celebration also occurred today. Norah had her first birthday party! Thanks to Anna who was visiting Katy and Mark in Chicago for the big day, she hooked us up to a website so we could watch and listen to the party from our hotel room. They placed the computer on the counter and we got to watch presents being opened. The best part to watch was Norah's first experience with cake. She was so cute. She made a mess but no too bad. She had more fun feeding the cake to her parents I think. Katy and Mark had a houseful of close friends to help celebrate. It was a great party. In her honor, Bev and I bought a small cupcake and ice cream and celebrated along with her here in our room. We toasted when Katy gave the toast. All things considered, since we couldn't be there, it was the next best thing. It was a great party, a wonderful celebration of one year of life already. Amazing how time flies.
My wish is that all of your upcoming celebrations be what you want them to be, loud and exciting or a sense of quiet accomplishment. Each day is given to us and we can't ever get it back. We should celebrate often!
Saturday, day minus 2. It all seems to be going so fast now. It took two months to prepare for this, getting ready mentally and physically. Preparing to move, planning who will take care of what, etc. Now it's day minus two. The last day of chemo. Today I received Melphalan (alkeran) the M chemo of BEAM. It's now done. BEAM is over. Let the celebration begin. Maybe quietly. It's a milestone if I never have to take chemo again, but my mind can't let that go just yet. It has become such a part of my life. All of the chemo I have been taking talk about side effects and Melphalan has all of the same side effects as the others I have mentioned previously. To me the scariest is the secondary malignancy, leukemia may occur. Yet I feel fine, like I could go to work. I do miss work. The doc says I really won't feel the effects of this chemo regimen BEAM until next week maybe starting around day+5 or so. Then I might not be feeling so well. But today is the end, hopefully. A cautious, quiet celebration.
Thankfully, a real celebration also occurred today. Norah had her first birthday party! Thanks to Anna who was visiting Katy and Mark in Chicago for the big day, she hooked us up to a website so we could watch and listen to the party from our hotel room. They placed the computer on the counter and we got to watch presents being opened. The best part to watch was Norah's first experience with cake. She was so cute. She made a mess but no too bad. She had more fun feeding the cake to her parents I think. Katy and Mark had a houseful of close friends to help celebrate. It was a great party. In her honor, Bev and I bought a small cupcake and ice cream and celebrated along with her here in our room. We toasted when Katy gave the toast. All things considered, since we couldn't be there, it was the next best thing. It was a great party, a wonderful celebration of one year of life already. Amazing how time flies.
My wish is that all of your upcoming celebrations be what you want them to be, loud and exciting or a sense of quiet accomplishment. Each day is given to us and we can't ever get it back. We should celebrate often!
Friday, November 20, 2009
First Week
I cannot believe it is Friday already. The last 7 days have flown by. This is Bev. Let me catch you up on some things Ken has missed in his blog. First, I am so excited and happy that Ken is doing so well. He really hasn't had much trouble with the chemo so far. The first day was a little tough, but only for an hour. The rest of the day was fine. Ken had 1 night that he was asleep at 6:00, but the rest of the nights, he has felt great and has been up helping me get settled in. We have been to the store numerous times to stock the refrigerator. We can't shop all in the same day because of the per Diem we are allowed each day. We want the insurance to cover as much as they can.
We had a nice evening on Wed. Our son Jeff came over, I cooked dinner, he helped us move furniture in the apartment, hooked up our Wii and played cards. It was a fun night. It felt normal. Ken and I loved it.
We are staying pretty close to Cherry Creek Mall. We found a new route to the RMCC that isn't driving on Colorado Blvd. It is a little prettier and not quite as busy. But we are glad we don't still live in Denver and have to drive in this everyday.
Our apartment is ok. It is small, but easy to get to. They have cable and HBO, so we have lots of TV to watch. Luckily, there are 2 TV's. I didn't have to miss Grey's Anatomy last night. Yeah. We have a living room, kitchen, bedroom with a king size bed and a bathroom. Our room overlooks the Cherry Creek. It seems quiet as well.
Ken has had the hiccups most nights, but not to bad. At least they aren't making him throw up. I'm so thankful. They say he may not get really sick till day +5, so we may have another week of feeling ok. I can't imagine doing this and being stuck in a hospital room. Ken feels way to healthy to be stuck in a room. We are doing ok.
Ken is an awesome guy. The first day we were here, I overheard the receptionist talking on the phone asking for men's hats. The center gets lots of women's hats that people knit and make, but they get very few men's hats. I mentioned it to Ken, thinking maybe we could donate one of his famous hats. But he said, "Maybe Stephanie can help." Steph, our daughter, used to work for Zephyr hats. She put us in contact with the owner of Zephyr Hats and as of this afternoon, they have already shipped 160 hats to the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center. Can you believe that? Just from overhearing the need, we were able to get them all these hats. The receptionist told us that every day she hears from guys that they wish they had guys hats to chose from. These hats will probably be baseball style hats from college and hockey teams. This will be great for the guys that come here for treatment. The CSU Bookstore sells Zephyr hats. The cancer center is very grateful. It's a blessing.
And here is the coolest thing Ken hasn't yet told you about. Our granddaughter and her parents sent Ken a book last week. There were instructions not to open it till Ken started Chemo, so we brought it to the cancer center last Monday. The book is a calendar countdown with 8 X 10 pictures of Norah. The instructions say that we can only look at 1 page a day. It has been tempting, but we are doing just that. Norah and Katy and Mark are coming to see us for Christmas. So each picture has the date with 39 days till I see my Grandpa. It is so sweet. Each picture also has a famous quote that goes with the picture. So I will recount what we have seen so far.
Title is "World's Greatest Photo Album Calendar Ever Created"
Page 1, November 16, 39 days till I see my Grandpa. It is a picture of Katy and Norah in the first day that she was born. Quote "Every Child begins the World again." Henry David Thoreau
Page 2, November 17, 38 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Ken holding a sleeping tiny Norah, the first time we saw her when she was just a few weeks old. Ken is looking at Norah. Quote "Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are." Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve
November 18, 37 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Bev holding a sleeping Norah during our first visit last December. We are sitting on a couch and Ken is leaning on Bev's shoulder. All three of us are resting with our eyes closed. Quote "I will give you peace and quietness." - I Chronicles 16:11
November 19, 36 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Ken holding a grinning Norah. Ken is smiling at her and showing her his coke can. Quote "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
November 20, 35 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Ken with Norah in his lap. He is touching her tiny head and she is looking at the camera. Quote "Children represent God's most generous gift to us." James Dobson
November 21, ..... can't look yet. It isn't the 21st. Man we want to look ahead. But it will be fun to see each picture each day. I'll try to blog and include the info on the calendar.
So today, Ken and I had our last little outing. Since Ken was feeling well, we left the cancer center at 10:30. We went to our apartment for lunch and then went to a movie at the Cherry Creek Mall. We barely made it back to the cancer center by 2:30, but it was worth it. We saw the new Blind Side movie that came out today. It was excellent. Especially nice knowing it was based on a true story. It was great. We recommend it.
Tomorrow, Ken may have to get a blood transfusion. We are not sure. If he does, we will spend the morning in the cancer center and the afternoon in the hospital. We are hoping that he doesn't need the transfusion till Sunday. We are planning to Skype with our Granddaughter in the afternoon to watch her birthday party. It will be so fun to see her eat her first cake. She was walking last time we skyped. We love seeing her. Can't wait till we get to hold her again.
Ken is almost done with his afternoon chemo, so bye for now. God Bless everyone and safe travels to you and your loved ones over the Thanksgiving holidays.
We had a nice evening on Wed. Our son Jeff came over, I cooked dinner, he helped us move furniture in the apartment, hooked up our Wii and played cards. It was a fun night. It felt normal. Ken and I loved it.
We are staying pretty close to Cherry Creek Mall. We found a new route to the RMCC that isn't driving on Colorado Blvd. It is a little prettier and not quite as busy. But we are glad we don't still live in Denver and have to drive in this everyday.
Our apartment is ok. It is small, but easy to get to. They have cable and HBO, so we have lots of TV to watch. Luckily, there are 2 TV's. I didn't have to miss Grey's Anatomy last night. Yeah. We have a living room, kitchen, bedroom with a king size bed and a bathroom. Our room overlooks the Cherry Creek. It seems quiet as well.
Ken has had the hiccups most nights, but not to bad. At least they aren't making him throw up. I'm so thankful. They say he may not get really sick till day +5, so we may have another week of feeling ok. I can't imagine doing this and being stuck in a hospital room. Ken feels way to healthy to be stuck in a room. We are doing ok.
Ken is an awesome guy. The first day we were here, I overheard the receptionist talking on the phone asking for men's hats. The center gets lots of women's hats that people knit and make, but they get very few men's hats. I mentioned it to Ken, thinking maybe we could donate one of his famous hats. But he said, "Maybe Stephanie can help." Steph, our daughter, used to work for Zephyr hats. She put us in contact with the owner of Zephyr Hats and as of this afternoon, they have already shipped 160 hats to the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center. Can you believe that? Just from overhearing the need, we were able to get them all these hats. The receptionist told us that every day she hears from guys that they wish they had guys hats to chose from. These hats will probably be baseball style hats from college and hockey teams. This will be great for the guys that come here for treatment. The CSU Bookstore sells Zephyr hats. The cancer center is very grateful. It's a blessing.
And here is the coolest thing Ken hasn't yet told you about. Our granddaughter and her parents sent Ken a book last week. There were instructions not to open it till Ken started Chemo, so we brought it to the cancer center last Monday. The book is a calendar countdown with 8 X 10 pictures of Norah. The instructions say that we can only look at 1 page a day. It has been tempting, but we are doing just that. Norah and Katy and Mark are coming to see us for Christmas. So each picture has the date with 39 days till I see my Grandpa. It is so sweet. Each picture also has a famous quote that goes with the picture. So I will recount what we have seen so far.
Title is "World's Greatest Photo Album Calendar Ever Created"
Page 1, November 16, 39 days till I see my Grandpa. It is a picture of Katy and Norah in the first day that she was born. Quote "Every Child begins the World again." Henry David Thoreau
Page 2, November 17, 38 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Ken holding a sleeping tiny Norah, the first time we saw her when she was just a few weeks old. Ken is looking at Norah. Quote "Tell me who admires you and loves you, and I will tell you who you are." Charles Augustin Sainte-Beauve
November 18, 37 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Bev holding a sleeping Norah during our first visit last December. We are sitting on a couch and Ken is leaning on Bev's shoulder. All three of us are resting with our eyes closed. Quote "I will give you peace and quietness." - I Chronicles 16:11
November 19, 36 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Ken holding a grinning Norah. Ken is smiling at her and showing her his coke can. Quote "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
November 20, 35 days till I see my Grandpa. The picture is of Ken with Norah in his lap. He is touching her tiny head and she is looking at the camera. Quote "Children represent God's most generous gift to us." James Dobson
November 21, ..... can't look yet. It isn't the 21st. Man we want to look ahead. But it will be fun to see each picture each day. I'll try to blog and include the info on the calendar.
So today, Ken and I had our last little outing. Since Ken was feeling well, we left the cancer center at 10:30. We went to our apartment for lunch and then went to a movie at the Cherry Creek Mall. We barely made it back to the cancer center by 2:30, but it was worth it. We saw the new Blind Side movie that came out today. It was excellent. Especially nice knowing it was based on a true story. It was great. We recommend it.
Tomorrow, Ken may have to get a blood transfusion. We are not sure. If he does, we will spend the morning in the cancer center and the afternoon in the hospital. We are hoping that he doesn't need the transfusion till Sunday. We are planning to Skype with our Granddaughter in the afternoon to watch her birthday party. It will be so fun to see her eat her first cake. She was walking last time we skyped. We love seeing her. Can't wait till we get to hold her again.
Ken is almost done with his afternoon chemo, so bye for now. God Bless everyone and safe travels to you and your loved ones over the Thanksgiving holidays.
Day -4 - Anticipation
I love ketchup on lots of things. Eggs, burgers, fries, all the normal things. It is my favorite condiment. I have associated for years the Carly Simon song Anticipation to the movement of ketchup. LOL! Here in Denver I have been feeling a lot of anticipation. Although not necessarily about what I thought it would be about.
I am so thankful I am not in the hospital but instead able to do this as outpatient so far. This allows me to still drive around with Bev and even go into Target and King Soopers while I still feel well. I just avoid sick people. And don't touch much of anything. And use lots of sanitizer. But these visits are really making me anticipate the holidays.
For years in Fort Collins I have been one of those types that are standing in line at 3 am waiting for Best Buy to open on black Friday. I had been lucky enough to always at least be along the front of the store before the line turned down the side and went back and across to Savers. One year my item, a VCR player was in a stack right inside the door. I was able to pick it up right away, and maybe one more small item up front, and I was the first to be rung out through the registers. I held my conquest up high as I exited while others were still streaming in and received many cheers! It was strangely exhilarating.
Several years ago we were staying with my in laws in the Phoenix area. At the last minute of Thanksgiving night, Bev and I decided to hit a Target store for black Friday. Sure enough, this time she let me off and I was first in line, a first ever. I stayed there overnight and later she came and spelled me to be able to sleep a little in the car. It's a lot warmer in Phoenix than in Fort Collins to stand outside all night. LOL! The crowds grew. It was fun meeting others and planning strategies about how to attack the store. As the time got near, the staff would come out and introduce themselves and even had snacks. They would explain their rule of no running once the doors opened. Finally they were ready and so were we. They opened the doors and I have never done speed walking faster back to the electronics department on the far side of the store than that morning. Just about a third of the way, all of a sudden I was passed up by a guy running by the checkout lanes in the main aisle. People behind me were hollering that this guy was running and not to be outdone I started hollering and pointing at him also. Target employees were great. They stopped the guy and told him he had to leave because of no running. Just like they said. I'm not sure to this day what finally happened because I just kept speed walking to my destination to get some very inexpensive photo frames that replay pictures over and over. It was the rage that year. It was fun to me to get caught up in the crowds. It has been ever since I was a little boy going to North Park shopping center in Dallas standing on the second floor looking down and only seeing heads as far as the eye could see.
Two months ago I was anticipating a much different scenario for this time. Death. I was afraid I would die around the holidays and thought how terrible that would be for my family and friends. I was contemplating making my will and "Five Wishes" concerning how I would like things to end. How would my funeral service go? Who would the minister be? What music would play? Would everyone leave drinking a coke? To be honest only a third of this stuff has been decided. I am still not ready. I am anticipating better things ahead.
I believe there is no better time than Thanksgiving and the entire Christmas season to anticipate change for everything. Thanksgiving provides the perfect time to be thankful for all that we have; to be able to forgive those we struggle to forgive during the year, to count our blessings for family, friends, health, living in the Untied States of America as well as many other blessings God has given us. I am thankful I am still alive after quite a year of change. I am thankful for my family and friends, doctors/nurses and hospitals, the military, and a new sense of everyone I run into being more friendly than what I remember before cancer.
Christmas to me brings the season of hope. Jesus is the reason for the season. I can not honestly say I have been a good Christian most of my life. I am more one of those that would go to church to ask forgiveness then not forgive or live right during the following week. I am a sinner and have struggled most of my life. There have been those moments when I knew that God was with me however so I do know that he exists. I have just forgotten about that when it was more convenient to me. The anticipation of a birth of any child, grandchild or whoever is always a happy and exciting time for all involved. I know this joy again this year at the birth of Norah our granddaughter and Bella Claire, Ben and Mary's daughter. This year more than ever I feel the upcoming birth of Jesus means more to me now than ever. I do not feel the fear of death as much now as the anticipation of the upcoming year.
That is not to say that I don't anticipate the challenges ahead with a little fear. As I write this, I am hiccuping again. That has become my badge of chemo. I hate it but have to accept it. The docs and nurses say that day +5 I will probably start going downhill as the chemo takes effect before my stem cells take hold and boost my immunity. They say it will be harder then anything I have been through. They are already saying that I might need infusions of blood before this weekend is out due to low counts. For one hour this past Monday I struggled mightily with my first dose of BEAM when I thought I was on fire. I know challenges lie ahead.
But all I want to do is anticipate what I would do for shopping on black Friday! It's the hunter gatherer part of me. It is after all only one week away! LOL!
What are you anticipating for the holidays? I sincerely hope all your wishes come true. You have certainly made my year and Bev's more survivable by your support. Thank you and God Bless You!
I am so thankful I am not in the hospital but instead able to do this as outpatient so far. This allows me to still drive around with Bev and even go into Target and King Soopers while I still feel well. I just avoid sick people. And don't touch much of anything. And use lots of sanitizer. But these visits are really making me anticipate the holidays.
For years in Fort Collins I have been one of those types that are standing in line at 3 am waiting for Best Buy to open on black Friday. I had been lucky enough to always at least be along the front of the store before the line turned down the side and went back and across to Savers. One year my item, a VCR player was in a stack right inside the door. I was able to pick it up right away, and maybe one more small item up front, and I was the first to be rung out through the registers. I held my conquest up high as I exited while others were still streaming in and received many cheers! It was strangely exhilarating.
Several years ago we were staying with my in laws in the Phoenix area. At the last minute of Thanksgiving night, Bev and I decided to hit a Target store for black Friday. Sure enough, this time she let me off and I was first in line, a first ever. I stayed there overnight and later she came and spelled me to be able to sleep a little in the car. It's a lot warmer in Phoenix than in Fort Collins to stand outside all night. LOL! The crowds grew. It was fun meeting others and planning strategies about how to attack the store. As the time got near, the staff would come out and introduce themselves and even had snacks. They would explain their rule of no running once the doors opened. Finally they were ready and so were we. They opened the doors and I have never done speed walking faster back to the electronics department on the far side of the store than that morning. Just about a third of the way, all of a sudden I was passed up by a guy running by the checkout lanes in the main aisle. People behind me were hollering that this guy was running and not to be outdone I started hollering and pointing at him also. Target employees were great. They stopped the guy and told him he had to leave because of no running. Just like they said. I'm not sure to this day what finally happened because I just kept speed walking to my destination to get some very inexpensive photo frames that replay pictures over and over. It was the rage that year. It was fun to me to get caught up in the crowds. It has been ever since I was a little boy going to North Park shopping center in Dallas standing on the second floor looking down and only seeing heads as far as the eye could see.
Two months ago I was anticipating a much different scenario for this time. Death. I was afraid I would die around the holidays and thought how terrible that would be for my family and friends. I was contemplating making my will and "Five Wishes" concerning how I would like things to end. How would my funeral service go? Who would the minister be? What music would play? Would everyone leave drinking a coke? To be honest only a third of this stuff has been decided. I am still not ready. I am anticipating better things ahead.
I believe there is no better time than Thanksgiving and the entire Christmas season to anticipate change for everything. Thanksgiving provides the perfect time to be thankful for all that we have; to be able to forgive those we struggle to forgive during the year, to count our blessings for family, friends, health, living in the Untied States of America as well as many other blessings God has given us. I am thankful I am still alive after quite a year of change. I am thankful for my family and friends, doctors/nurses and hospitals, the military, and a new sense of everyone I run into being more friendly than what I remember before cancer.
Christmas to me brings the season of hope. Jesus is the reason for the season. I can not honestly say I have been a good Christian most of my life. I am more one of those that would go to church to ask forgiveness then not forgive or live right during the following week. I am a sinner and have struggled most of my life. There have been those moments when I knew that God was with me however so I do know that he exists. I have just forgotten about that when it was more convenient to me. The anticipation of a birth of any child, grandchild or whoever is always a happy and exciting time for all involved. I know this joy again this year at the birth of Norah our granddaughter and Bella Claire, Ben and Mary's daughter. This year more than ever I feel the upcoming birth of Jesus means more to me now than ever. I do not feel the fear of death as much now as the anticipation of the upcoming year.
That is not to say that I don't anticipate the challenges ahead with a little fear. As I write this, I am hiccuping again. That has become my badge of chemo. I hate it but have to accept it. The docs and nurses say that day +5 I will probably start going downhill as the chemo takes effect before my stem cells take hold and boost my immunity. They say it will be harder then anything I have been through. They are already saying that I might need infusions of blood before this weekend is out due to low counts. For one hour this past Monday I struggled mightily with my first dose of BEAM when I thought I was on fire. I know challenges lie ahead.
But all I want to do is anticipate what I would do for shopping on black Friday! It's the hunter gatherer part of me. It is after all only one week away! LOL!
What are you anticipating for the holidays? I sincerely hope all your wishes come true. You have certainly made my year and Bev's more survivable by your support. Thank you and God Bless You!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
