December 26th. Quiet day.

It is Saturday, December 6th. Quiet day. I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 am. Ken was still very sedated. He had kind of a rough Friday evening. The nurses tried to lower his sedation, but he was very agitated every time he woke up. He is not liking his new trach tube. He tries to take quick breaths instead of the long slow breaths that the machine wants to take. So they say he needs more time. They have taken him almost completely off the long acting sedation and have him mostly on the propovol, the drug they had run out of, but now have plenty. It seems to do the trick. Except this morning, I went down to the cafe for a minute to get breakfast. When I came back up, I could hear one of his beepers going off. I looked in the room and his eyes were wide open. I quick put on my paper gown, gloves and mask and entered the room. Ken looked at me as the nurse came in to check his drips. The propovol that keeps him asleep had stopped and he was awake. I talked to him, asked him if he was in pain. He shook his head just barely, no. Then I asked him if he was scared and he barely shook his head yes. The nurse and I both told him that he was getting better and that he was going to be ok. He started to cry and it broke my heart. He scrunched up his face and big tears came out his eyes. I was crying in my mask right along with him. I told him not to worry, that he just needed to rest some more. He finally closed his eyes and went back to sleep. The nurse said the propovol is very fast acting, but it also stops fast. He has been asleep every since. They have added some adavan and haldol drugs to his regiment today. They are both for nerves among other things. We are hoping that it will help him be calm when they wake him up. They also gave him some more lasix which gets rid of water. His arms are really swollen, but his legs are very thin. One of the drugs they gave him, probably the lasix made his blood pressure plummet. Really low, like 67/45. So now he is on a blood pressure medicine too. This is all so scary for me. It is so quiet in the hospital and he seems to be getting so much weaker. He didn't even squeeze my hand today. They are waiting 12 hours and will try to lower his sedation again. I think I will try to spend the night with him so I will be there if he wakes up. This is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Our Christmas was sad because Ken wasn't with us. But nice too. I spent the morning and most of the afternoon with Ken. Katy and Mark visited Ken at lunch. Then his sister from Calif, Cathey, came to visit right after lunch along with his sister from Colo Springs, Lisa. They just stopped for a few minutes. They were on their way to Fort Collins to see Ken's mom. As soon as they left, I headed over to my son's house in Golden where we exchanged gifts and had a wonderful dinner made by the kids. Katy, Mark and Norah were there as well as Jeff and Sara, Stephanie and Joe and also Tessa. We skyped with Anna in New York too. She watched all the gift exchange and had saved her presents to open with us as well. It was weird not to have Ken with us, but we made the best of it. Sara took a bunch of pictures, so Ken will be able to see the gifts as well. I decided to go home to Staybridge and try to get some sleep. I should have just gone to the hospital. I didn't sleep very well without Ken. I am planning to stay with him tonight. We'll see how he does.

So something else weird happened today. I have been reading a book this week. I always read a Christmas story during Christmas. This time I decided to go for a light romance book. I am reading Santa in a Stetson. About a New Mexico rancher and his new wife. Simple enough. Well, I was reading in Ken's room this morning, and I was on page 281, almost done with the book. When suddenly, the rancher woke up with a fever. They took him 50 miles to the nearest hospital. He is in the ICU, on a respirator, with some kind of extreme pneumonia. Can you believe it? They don't know what is causing it. Took close to home. I had to put it down, so I will have to finish the book tonight and see how it turns out. Of course, he is the hero, so you know he will make it. My hero better make it too.

I'm feeling kind of sad, and I am currently over at Katy and Mark's condo they are staying in. I am going to play with Norah for another hour and then head to the hospital. Hope you are having a good week.

For those of you that want to help me, I need to start thinking about what I will do next week if Ken is still in the hospital. I want to work for a couple of days. I may want someone to sit with Ken. I have 1 volunteer, but if anyone else wants to spend time with him, just let me know. I'd like a relief schedule. I am also wanting to get Ken's mom up to Denver to see Ken on Tuesday morning. I can go get her and take her back, unless someone else wants to bring her up for me. Katy and Mark are leaving tomorrow to go skiing. They will be back Monday night, so Elaine could see them also Tuesday morning.

Baby time. Gotta Go.